Greatful with an aching but full heart

There is something that has been on my mind and I need to share. Please, Please, only remember Tanner for who he was on this earth and not how he left. I feel like so many times we tend to identify people by that. And that is now his identity. That people forget oh that kid that was so amazing and baseball, had so much potential, and instead its oh that kid that took his life. I am a VERY protective sister. Anyone talks smack about my brothers and it brings a fire out in me. I remember as a kid we would always go to the ocean. Now I could go as far out into the waves as I wanted but I would always tell my brothers, No you aren't allowed to go past this point in the ocean. I'm sure they both thought I was super annoying, and maybe still do. But the truth is that I love my brothers so much and they mean everything to me. One time when Tanner and I were young we were arguing. My dad made us stand outside and look at the stars. He said you see all the stars in the sky? If all of those stars represent spirits you two chose each other to be siblings. It was interesting to look at all of the stars that just seem endless and know out of ALL those billions of stars we chose each other to be family. Because we knew we would be good for each other. Help each other learn, and grow. Be there for support if needed. Friends come and go but family is forever. I know that when we were in the spirit world I knew that my life wasn't going to be easy, that I would lose sibling far before it was their time to go. I accepted to edure through these trials and all I can say is I am so thankful that Heavenly Father so much for enrtusting me with these trials and to be his sister so that I could be blessed all the more. Life has been hard. Losing two siblings has probably been the biggest trial thus far. But if I had to go through it all again just so that I could have that time with them, learn the things I did and was able to grow from knowing them I would. In a heartbeat. This is painful, very painful but there has been so much good. I have been blessed with amazing and fun memories of my brother and sister. Ones I will cherish for the rest of my days. I know there will be a void in my life. But I also know that he isn't completely gone. He may not be here in body, but his spirit is all around us. I can feel it. And I can feel the comfort of the other spirits around me as well. The gospel truly is an amazing thing. And the Atonement. I am also so grateful for a loving, understanding, and forgiving Father in Heaven. Anywho, This really all started out by me just wanted to ask people to remember him for who he was. The kid with the great heart, BIG smile, Curly blond hair, and a magnetizing personality. That just really means the world to me.